super

Lots of girls (maybe that's sexist, but I think it's the ugly truth) grow up thinking that there is someone outthere who can save them from unhappiness, from tight spots, from danger, from lonliness, from worry...

People imagine that a parent, a baby, a superhero, a boss, a brother- can fix those things- can somehow help you when you need it. Give you a break, lend you money, make you happy, give you a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold...

But you know what I've learned?

You have to be your own hero. You have to be brave enough and strong enough and clear headed enough when the chips are down to be your own saviour.

Because, really- no matter how good it feels to cry on that shoulder or borrow that money, no matter how easy it is to solve your problems that way, YOU never really solve them.



And maybe this is a bitter thing to say, but when it comes down to it- no matter who you are or what situation you're in, all you have is you.

While harsh and cold and lonely sometimes- it's also really really important to remember.

I mean, it's romatic and wonderful to know you have friends, family and loved ones that will care for you, help you- that YOU can help in return... but in the end, in the very end- we're alone.




In the past few months I've tried more and more to rely on me. To know I can figure it out, work it out, make it to the other side... and while it's been a struggle and I'm not anywhere near the top of this enormous climb I'm doing my best.


And honestly, who can ask for anything more out of themselves?






Life is confusing. This year so far has been a steep decline and I'm trying to be Superman underneath the crashing airplane keeping it from hitting the ground at 1000 miles and hour.

I'm doing pretty good. I might even be able to get the damn thing back into the air someday. Right now I'm working on keeping it from being reduced to a char mark on the cement.

I think that's a pretty decent goal for someone who is new at this whole self-superhero thing.