distracted

Today I am bored.

Bored of my life. Bored of my work. Bored of my droning dying depressing deadthly drier daily routine.


I am as low as it gets one minute and the next I feel like maybe you know, I'll wake up any second from this nightmare that is my life.

I am falling apart at the seems and everything I've ever wanted is falling into my lap.

Money. Friends. Work. Love.

It's just that it means nothing to me. All of it is garbage.

And right this minute that makes me laugh at the irony.

All I wanted. All I worked for. I have.

Ha. I dont want it.

As soon as I sit down for a minute I'm sure this mirth and comedy will dissolve and I will be a muddle puddle of huddled Kate.

My title will finally make sense. I will be Kate-less.

I am missing and my body is just trying to walk itself through everyday until I get back from my I-couldnt-give-less-of-a-shit-vacation to depress-o land. A-la drugs and chemo and crap that I hate and the bruises pilingup isnt helping. Frankly, the one on my face may just be the last straw.

I am a mess.

But from the outside. From their view... I am just dandy. Clean hair and a smile distract almost everybody from myself.


That I'm great at. Distraction.