I hope your last thought gets to be, "Holy Crap, That's Awesome."

5/6/08

bled

Today I got a nosebleed. In retrospect, I've never had a nosebleed that didnt lead the bad things. I really dont get nosebleeds very often, but they are memorable when I do...


Let me recount my past nosebleeds as far back as I can remember them.

1991:
Location- STA Elementary School, 3rd Grade
Age- 8

I was sitting in my classroom taking a test on my multiplication tables (the 2's) and suddenly a bright wet crimson drop fell onto my paper. My teacher took my test and made me start over.

Later that week my mother and brother got into a car accident and changed my course of my childhood.

1994:
Location- Hiawatha Elementary, 5th Grade
Age- 10

I was playing my violin (before I switched to viola) during the famed 5th grade strings, standing next to Claire Anderson, when I felt my nose get kind of cold. I set my violin down to get a tissue to avoid boogery embarrassments and a surge of blood sploshed onto my violin with a patter and onto Claire's shoes.

Later that day I peed my pants on the playground and pretended that I fell in a puddle. My mother brought me replacement clothes... plaid pants with suspenders. Why we had these pants, I'll never know. For a fifth grader it was the most embarrassing thing possible. Bleeding + Pee + Suspenders = memorably terrible day

1997:
Location- My house, 7th Grade
Age- 13

I was home sick with strep throat and I'd been sitting watching bad kids TV all day ("Allegras Window", anyone?). My mom was upstairs doing laundry (AMAZING!). The pillow under my head began to gradually feel wet, I thought my eyes were watering or something. Little did I know that my nose was steadily dripping blood.

Turns out that after cleaning up my nose debacle, my mother found the report card I'd hidden (stupidly) in my closet. Probably the most trouble I'd ever been in. At thirteen I was officially an idiot, things don't change much.


2000:
Location- Kate's House, 11th Grade
Age- 16

I was in a wonderfully bad play called "The Great All American Musical Disaster" (Which Angelaboration referred to in her last post) and I'd been in terrible trouble with my parents for failing Spanish (Sadly, I also failed it my Junior year. I, in no way, have ever been a good academic... ever). When my parents became aware of my D- in Spanish, my parents were debating pulling me from all my extra curriculars to make me concentrate on my classes. During the inevitable parental lectures about responsibility and idiocy- my nose started to ooze blood. My Dad accused me of making it bleed to get out of being yelled at. He kept yelling at me and made me use a kitchen towel to mop up my face.

My parents didn't make me quit the play, but they did call my teachers every day for the rest of the year to check up on me... it sucked. Also, they banned me from using the computer, TV, video games, phone or reading books that were for fun and not school. I'm not sure which was worse.


2004: Chicago, Summer Junior Year
Age: 20

Jimmy and I had been dating for awhile and I was sitting at my computer writing a paper. My nose started to drip, landing on my key board with a big red splotch.

Sadly, this nosebleed ended with Jimmy and I breaking up that night. Oddly enough, about two months later I got a nosebleed while I was sleeping and the next weekend Jimmy and I got back together.


2008: Dallas, Post all schooling
Age: 24

Today, in my car on the way home. And then AGAIN on the way home from dinner.

I've gotten two nosebleeds in one day. TWO. I'm double damned. Or maybe I'm double negatived? I hope the latter of the two. I don't know that getting in trouble with my mom and dad is so scary anymore... they cant ban me from TV anymore. Ha!

So what is the equivalent for an "adult" to being in trouble with your parents? Am in for double that, or am I in for something awesome?



Beware of the curse of the nosebleed.
Nosebleed

2 comments:

Angela said...

Yikes. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

the V said...

did you ever notice how all three of us managed to be raised by completely different parents? it's fucking weird.

ps - I am voting two nosebleeds cancel out, you're in the clear missy.