lived

There are moments in life that just make you feel alive. Moments that thrill every cell of your body and make you FEEL.

Last night was a normal night, I drove in insane traffic back from a Temp job across the city, made myself some dinner, met up with friends, saw a comedy show... and it felt very, well, mundane. Enjoyable, yes- but mundane.

Then, at 1:30 in the morning I was driving home from the show, alone in the car and flicked on the radio. Usually Saturday night radio is less than awesome- lots of techno re-mixes of popular songs, which are fine when dancing, but not quite my thing-

Instead I turned on the radio to the openening strains of Journey.

Now... this song is total crap. And I love it. It is a song that has played throughout my life in moments of utter happiness.


Just a small town girl living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere...


The song makes me feel both nostalgic and hopeful and full of readiness for what is next.

Images of myself at my happiest flash through my head-

Me dancing with my sister in Scotland, me singing in the car with Kendra through the streets of Chicago and on the road to Los Angeles, belting it aloud with Dan the day Jimmy left for Dallas, carpe noctum road trips to the beach with Justin and Lucas, singing with my new brother in-laws at my wedding, dancing our hearts out at a bar with Helen and Kendra here in LA...


and last night when it came on the radio- that first line had me choked up. And then it hit me like a fucking lightning bolt.



I make my own choices... and those choices are one's I can live with and be happy with.

And then I started belting into to fist/microphone down the 101 towards the cell-block I've called home in Van Nuys.

Sometimes life feels like it is full of burden and hardship- and sometimes it feels ike it all is worth it. Every, every second of it.





Just a city boy born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smokey room the smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night.
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting up down the boulevard.
Their shadows searchin in the night
Streetlight people living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice. Just one more time.
Some will win some will lose some were born to sing the blues.
Oh the movie never ends. It goes on and on and on and on...

Don´t stop believing.
Hold on to the feeling.
Streetlight people.